my parents are coming to visit me and we're going to see the Eiffman Ballet production of Don Quixote - should be nice.

cruel cosmic joke...
I feel springtime burning in my belly... and making me cry.

but I get to leave work early and enjoy walking around in the sunshine.

An account of a great and hopeful love story at Salon.com. See, it DOES happen to people... from time to time.

listening to some Mose Allison as per my roommates' obsession - er, suggestion. Pretty damn good.

Your molecular structure / is really something fine /
a first rate example of functional design
those cosmic undulations are steady coming through
your molecular structure, baby / me and you
-"Your Molecular Structure"

marg_crush update
so last night... I didn't feel it - the tugging pulling attraction, just wasn't there. Good. i'm glad. I had no use for it anyway, not with someone like him. It was good to just hang out and be friendly without awkwardness or nerves. Let's keep it this way, shall we?

NBA Update
Outcome of last night's games: Hawks beat the Nets bAD, Dallas beat the Bucks in OT, and Kings had the Clip's number - although I just lOVE those LAC jerseys, I wanna get me one... but which? Q?

Beautiful yoga class today. I'm finally getting something... there are actually exercises that I can sort-of DO! amazing! who would've thunk it?

games on tv 2nite:
7:30 Nets vs. Hawks
8pm Dallas vs. Bucks
10:30 Clippers vs. Kings

predictions: Nets - Dallas - Kings.

its strange, this mixture of envy and attraction... I want to be you... I want to be WITH you. confusing in my head.

me--
be happy for me, not because of someone or something
that deigns to rain its sunshine onto me.
be contented within this castle of my little body
and not diggin on someone else's.
strive for the peace and harmony within
which are mine to hold and mold each day.
to discover the beauty, truth, and love of me
through me,
not through another...
...not through you.

Thank GOD for my electric blanket!!! its 24 degrees these days, and our heater ain't workin... again.

lovely conversation yesterday with a friend... i don't know if anyone would be interested, but i posted it up - just for fun. Fun with IM
html formatting - whoo-hoo!
what? who says I have too much time on my hands?
anyway, please peruse it at your leisure.

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

cool, you can get your birthchart done for free. thanks to RuPaul and his awesome weblog.

added a new comments feature... lets see if it works, shall we?
and works - it does.

2 good games on tonight
7:30 Blazers vs. Nets (413)
8 Lakers vs. Spurs (138)

This is the type of thing that really freaks me the fuck out about the world. A man-made apocalypse... phatty.

we'll share the shelter of my single bed
we'll share the same room...
I wanna luv ya, ev'ry day and every night.
-B. Marley

...dream...
I had a really scary one last night... Dasha and I had to take a flight to somewhere and it was really important. She got tickets somehow - online or what have you - and they were real cheap and I was real nervous that they wouldn't work for some reason. And when we got to the airport (not only was I not wearing any pants) but the tickets were null, and some dude - an airport employee - was trying to calm us down and he got in the car with us, shotgun. I was in the back and felt like Dasha wasn't being mean or assertive enough or something, and I started yelling at him getting all hardass, how we had to get wherever we were going TODAY and not in two weeks, like he was suggesting... It was all very unpleasant, and it was cold this morning and I could not peel my eyes open for anything.

The weekend was crazilicious. Boston can be a hip-happenin spot, once in a while. When you go there once a month or so. I can't believe my lil sister Jane is really going to Spain on Thursday.
Have a blast, Lil' Jane! Holla!

games 2nite:

7 nets vs cavs

8 magic vs bucks

8 knicks vs grizz

boring meeting poem


moody Gemini
gamely wonders
into the clear puddle
on the street one day
Flitting jerkily
he mutters "Harrumph."
Then grins up
at the butterfly overhead.
Escrewing tradition she opens wide offering
undemanding joyous freedom from the chains of the mundane.

Last night was interesting... I did a lot of singing upon coming home. I hadn't really released like that in a long time - just let myself be loud and let my voice crack and get up really high and just get the sound OUT.
Sang along to India Arie (although sadly words are not provided in the CD jacket) and then the entire Jill Scott album - what a BLAST!
then I actually dug out a few of my own songs, and belted those out as well. made me feel so good, like I'd actually accomplished something... Lately I've been feeling like - if I love something truly then I should not be afraid to express/experience it. so Music, as much as it petrifies me, can be a source of renewal and rejuvination.
Then I had pizza beer and smokes with my roommates, hehe - probably what every serious singer does after a session (not that i'm a serious singer - pffffff). It was rilly fun tho.

lots of good games on tonight. I'm pumped.
7pm Nets vs. Celts
8 kings vs. philly
10:30 wash vs. clips

Sixers, and my man AI, BEAT the Knicks down last night, after being down by 20 points in the 3rd quarter. The officiating was wack - Dikembe M. got ejected after a "second" flagrant foul was called on 'im... but then the Sixers went on a huge run and won the game in the end. Ain't no one can touch 'em.

A Mouse Story

Myles had set up the camera on Friday night to record the nocturnal occurances on the shelves in our kitchen... rather eery, fast forwarding through the footage of one single shot - the yellow triangle poison box, and a large glass container with popcorn, also yellow . Then suddenly - the little gray mouse appears, scurrries. I name him Dennis the Menace, snooping around, climbing fully into the box of death, sitting inside, eating shitting - poor little guy.
As traumatic as watching all this on the television was - I was NOT prepared to walk away from the TV and into the kitchen to find littley Denny in the middle of the kitchen floor all aglow in a dramatic spotlight - alive, in the throes of death approaching. The events of the next half hour are a blur... J putting the clear plastic canister over the little critter, Myles and Chris setting up the pinhole wireless camera to capture each twitch and lurch of the poor thing while I cowered shuddering on the stairs, careful to niether glance into the kitchen nor onto the TV screen where life could be witnessed slowly ebbing away from the tiny poisoned creature on the floor of our kitchen - CLOSE-UP.
We ended up taking the poor little thing to the water, past the buzzed and buzzing hipsters and the humming police van on North 6th street... and letting it loose, to move into the next dimension in peace and away from us - its killers. I had to browbeat Myles into leaving the plastic canister behind - he kept muttering something about washing out the mouse piss and vomit, but I held my ground and the canister was left at the waterfront along with our gray furry victim.
it was all pretty gory and distressing for a Saturday night.

listening to "fU mANCHU" Desmond Dekker on echo.com radio

re-reading "conversations with god: book 2" by donald neale walsch

Last night was so much fun. My first game playing pick-up nerf hoopball, awesome! Of course the rules favored me greately, and of course Myles still won, but I had a run early in the 2nd game that was pretty impressive. I have a lot to work on - rebounding, squaring up to the basket, my touch, and pestering defence... but KaneDog did say that I earned his respect, hehe. I know he was just being nice, but still... its better than what I heard from gym teachers and classmates all my life.
Quick hoop-game with totally made-up rules at 1 in the morning... what more can a girl ask for?

no alcohol, no smoke, no coffee even! just vitamins, cereal and soy milk in me now... so why don't i feel better, huh? perhaps tonight is time for a different approach.

here's a really funny story at TomatoNation.com

on my brain today... "I'm in Love Witchu" -Erykah Badu f. Steven Marley. great song.
not much to say... just moody. hormones... cycles... the seasons... the moon. whatever it is, its crap.

want...
touch your eyelids, flutter my eyelashes on your neck, nibble on your earlobe, nuzzle my face into your chest, be without clothes on, snuggle safe and warm into you, rub my palm along your cheek, lick your neck, bite your fingers, smile up to your eyes, whisper dirty thoughts into your ear, push up at your shoulders, giggle into your collarbone, scratch secret messages down your back, kiss you in the center of your palm, tickle your ribs with the pads of my fingertips, jostle you as you walk by my side, twirl in the moonlight of your eyes, sing softly for you alone, melt into your lips as the water slides over our faces...

our apartment is infested with mice... We tried the humane way of dealing with the situation, and my roommate and I dropped SIXTY bucks on 2 lovely "mouse sonars" - which are supposed to emit sounds that humans can't hear and mice fear... Well, surprisingly enough - the mice LOVE both sonars, its kind of like going to a rock concert for them.
Unfortunately the boxes from the sonars had already been thrown out - dumb - and the infestation is at a high point. Yesterday - we went to Metropolitan Ave and bought some poison for our little nightly friends... Now, its WAR!
Word to the wise: do NOT spend your hard-earned money on the very nice and humane pest control devices known as MOUSE SONAR! if you'd like to throw your money away -- you can throw it in an envelope, put my address on it, and throw the whole thing in the mail. :)
much obliged.

If I was who I want to be - I'd do yoga twice a week, I'd take a dance class a few times a month... I'd write precisely and concretely about my thoughts and feelings, and I would also create compelling characters. I would get paints and paint murals of brilliant colors and shapes... I would learn Flash... I would take a class maybe in Web Design, so that my work is less simplistic... but then I would get back to my simplistic primitivism, after learning how to do stylish stream-linedness, because that is my true self. I would write fairy tales about strong-willed princesses going on quests to save the world from evil. I would strip naked and dance around my apartment and stretch to the beat of the drum of my pulse. I would climb ladders fearlessly and hang glittery tapestries to flow from the ceiling down my walls to my bed. I would cut my hair whenever I felt like it with big red scissors. I would sing in the shower, and out. I would practice playing the guitar everyday. I would imitate the flower and bloom every morning to welcome the new day. I would never hold my breath. I would buy more plants, maybe a cactus or two. I would learn to do a hand-stand, i really want to... I wouldn't stress about things I can't change. I would focus on changing what I can. I would give change to people who ask for it. I would smile more. I would play, by myself and with other people. I would build castles out of nothing and tear them down riding a giant bulldozer. I would finally finish reading "Atlas Shrugged" - its a good book, but slow going... I'm determined to read it all the way through. I would twist and shout. I would buy a computer (laptop?), maybe a small desk and a comfy armchair for my room. I would climb things other than walls. I would grit my teeth is joyful frustration. I would lick lollipops and hold on to big bunches of balloons, while wearing a smart little hat and a pouffy pink dress.
...oh, wait. i already do some of those things.

there is only this life. regrets are meaningless. There's no guarantee of tomorrow - so you might as well do whatever the fuck you want. Say it, yell it, break it, make it!